Go Travel, You Dingus!

This is Macau, so I'm technically not travelling in this pic...

I like to travel. It's fun. You might like to travel too. It's fun. If you want to travel, read this. If you don't, you're not fun and you can go kick rocks. I won't give you advice on how to do it, but I will give you advice on how NOT to do it, since I've done that already. So here goes. 


Before You Pack
If you're not sure where you want to go, there are lots of travel blogs (like one written by a charming and charismatic Canadian based in Macau) to help you ignite your imagination. When people ask me where to go (since I'm such a wise and trusted source of information), I'd say to let your interests guide you. You'll likely be pleasantly surprised by the things you discover in an unfamiliar place. But I'll probably say to come visit me and I'll take care of the rest.  

I won't smile for pictures tho

Having a passport helps

Unless you've got a large stash of drug/oil/international school salary money readily at your disposal for such an expedition, it might help to save up for your trip. Asking your parents for their credit card information is made more embarrassing when you admit to needing a bailout for things such as bus passes and concert tickets. I put a little money away every so often. This also means it doesn't auto go into my belly via pizza, beer or large amounts of chicken wings. It works better than you'd think, and you can trust me because I teach 4th grade math.  Your local bank will probably do the best job of giving you the currency you want, although they can also give you currencies you don't want. 

Now it's time to... 

Book your Shit

Google Flights has a couple neat features that make brainstorming and booking pretty easy. SkyScanner is another website that has a handy 'flight rating' system that helps to balance the cost, duration and convenience of a trip into a quantifiable score (in case you didn't realize a 14 hour layover & change of airport would be an inconvenience), but your choices are many. You can also stowaway on a container ship and see where it takes you, that could be fun. 

This place came with a nice cat

If you've never looked into AirBnB, it's a pretty darn neat program. It's an online program that allows travelers (or homeowners) to rent a bed, room or entire place in the city of your choice. It's often cheaper than a hotel, more comfortable & private than a hostel, and can cater to your preferences & taste. Heck, I even use it to look at people's apartments because I'm a snoop and need guidance on how to make my own place look respectable. It also means you can rent trendy places and pretend you're a sophisticated adult.

Or, if you're an employed adult who likes the sophistication and service of a hotel, there are ways to pair flight deals with. Travel websites like Expedia & the other ones have all kinds of handy promotions to entice you into using their services.  

One last thing, it's helpful to learn a few key phrases because it's polite & convenient for those place that aren't so English friendly. A few important ones I stick with are:
- "Thank You", because your mother taught you to use your goddamn manners
- "That one, please", because food is tasty and it's important to keep putting it in your face
- "Where is the Toilet", because that food is sometimes disagreeable and you need the facilities to deal with this new and urgent situation. 

Go Have Fun
The rest is up to you really. You're an adult, do what you want. 

Go by yourself and be majestic

Go with friends and share an experience

Touch the bugs

Taste coffee from a weasel's digestive system

Make friends with funny animals

Get sunburned at the beach

Put too many chilis in your pho

Appreciate architecture

Smell the spices 

Get nostalgic 

Eat things that look like rocks

Look at city lights and say 'neat'

Look at old things and say 'neat'

Drive cars to neat places

Don't crash cars in neat places

Stay hydrated 

Write to your friends

Look at things you don't understand

Go on a hike

Stay very hydrated

Collect funny money

Do impractical things

In the end, maybe you have a good time, maybe you get food poisoning and stay in the musty hostel for the entire trip. Doesn't matter, you'll have some good instagram material and a few more stamps in your passport. It may even make you appreciate home a little more.