My Own Apartment

I was going to begin by writing about my apartment, but I have state something first... Normally, I write, re-write, delay, finish writing, edit and publish a blog post. Later, I'll re-read the post and only then find the problems with broken video links, bad spots of grammar and ugly formatting. Finally, I'll take a look at how many people read it, because that's what we all do with our social posts nowadays.

Don't you even TRY and tell me you don't or wouldn't do such a thing. DON'T TRY THAT ON ME. We live in the 21st century! This is how the world works! We SURVIVE on artificial gratification!!!

... But aside from the numbers, I really don't know who ends up reading this, only that the internet collects your credit card information the number of pageviews and each view's country of origin. I looked at this the other day in some detail. Apparently, people in OTHER places are reading this too. Do I have this many friends in these places? I honestly can't remember... (My bad memory and lack of keeping-up-to-date with people's lives on facebook is about to bite me in the ass for this...)

23 views from the U.S.?  Did I really befriend that many Americans?       yikes 17 views from Vietnam?  Who do I know that lives in Vietnam?
11 views from Germany?  Maybe I should use more WWII memes...

Well, now that you're here, I guess it would be rude of me not to begrudgingly welcome you in, since you've already invited yourself over... More than that, enjoy rummaging through images of my own HOME , I hope you sick bastards enjoy looking at my OWN PERSONAL BELONGINGS when you haven't even met me in PERSON!   

Or maybe you do know me and I'm being incredibly paranoid and xenophobic... 

But for real, enjoy. Please have a seat anywhere you like and make yourself comfortable. If you like what you read, or have a question for me, or you're a smart-ass that thinks I could network my writing somehow (like printing the link on postcards and hand them out at alternative music shows), leave a comment. Or you can say nothing. Or you can do what you want, since (I assume) you're an adult. I probably wouldn't do this if people didn't like it, but then again I went to school for jazz performance and that didn't stop me.

But, thank you for stopping by. Enjoy your stay. That's all I wanted to say about that. 

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I am currently writing this entry from the confinements of an apartment inhabited solely by myself. I'm sitting on a couch I alone have ownership of, this word document displayed on a TV of my own, having a coffee I made myself, all while thinking about what I can make myself for dinner for a nice night in. It's a very nice day outside, but I opened a window so I can pretend I'm participating in outdoor activities. That's how that works, I think.

I recently moved into a 1 bedroom apartment in the east end of Hamilton, Ontario. It's an old three story walk up, it's affordable and functional, and there's parking on the street. It's got doors & windows that open and close, walls with places for the electricity to come out, and a floor that is mostly flat. That's kinda what I was looking for, so that worked out just fine. There's even a rear patio. 

I can't install a BBQ or hot tub because of
"Safety Reasons" or something

I can even pretend to like sports from the comfort of my own home

While I'm quite content with things here now, I definitely miss my old place. Being able to have tasteful brunches with the roomie, crack open the liquor cabinet while reminding myself that I own a liquor cabinet (like someone who runs a bank or railroad company), and to otherwise entertain friends with food, drinks and dutch blitz. With a smaller apartment, less disposable income, and no roommates, it's a definite change from the past. This place is a lot quieter, and it's a lot easier to stay right where I am for a full day of saying "no thanks" to healthier or more active things to do with my time. If I so choose to spend the rest of the day on the computer designing and growing little cities into big ones, I don't need to explain myself or otherwise be accountable to anyone else. If I decide to eat a very large quantity of leftover butter chicken right out of the Tupperware container, SO BE IT. And if I happen to spill a little bit of food or drink on my clothing, there is ZERO need to get up and change, or feel any differently on the matter, because it's my home and not a single person can tell me what to do. 

I wonder how long this feeling will last... Maybe these choices will slowly morph into bigger, badder, worse habits that will turn me into a Netflix watching, video-game playing, record-listening snob of a shut-in. I just won't think about that right now...

Not long ago, I used to be intimidated at the thought of having to be on my own, mostly because I am not good at alone time. I am very not good at alone time. I am so not good at alone time that it is often the fear of impending alone time that pushes me to invite friends over to make deep dish pizza, to throw a Cinco de Mayo party, or to co-cook a thanksgiving dinner for 25 people throughout the course of the day (In case anyone's feelings were just damaged, I also enjoy spending time with people, in case there was any confusion). But in general, being on my own for prolonged periods of time hasn't been something I've looked forward to or usually enjoyed very much.  I wrote a little about this topic almost two years ago when I first moved to my own place in Macau and ran into the same anxiety-ridden issues I mentioned in the beginning.

Since then, I think that (or at least I'd like to hope that) I've gained a few more skills in managing myself and in being able stay in a healthy state. Perhaps for that reason, or for something I can't remember because I'm getting very forgetful these days, things are actually pretty okay. Maybe it was the prospect of a big change that intimidated me the most. In fact, I can say without sarcasm or dishonesty, or the other qualities I put into my writing to construct a façade of functionality and competence, that things are actually just fine.

No, not just "Fine"

But "Just Fine"

Writing this post also lit the fire under my ass to do a proper cleanup of the apartment, rather than just a "put that over there, or in the drawer, or in the sink or somewhere" type of cleanup, forcing me to keep working beyond what is normally the 30 minutes of enthusiasm I have towards keeping my place at least a tiny bit clean.

So here it is. My own apartment.

Bathroom

It's just a bathroom

It's got all the bathroom things you need to use it as a bathroom. It's got a cabinet to put things. It's got a sink for drowning bad thoughts in. The tub can be used for showering, or if I've got an entire evening free and want to cram all six feet of myself into a tub, I can have an uncomfortable bath. It's got toilet for sitting when I don't feel like standing. And yes, I did put those three hooks in myself. I can also screw and UNscrew any light bulb on the premises, all by myself. Didn't know I was so handy eh?

It's also got a floor made of lil' things

Kitchen

It's a kitchen

Yes, that is a Dutch picture. Very good eye! 

The rest of the room

Of course there's a selection of hot sauces

There are counters and cupboards, holding items that are food and also items that are not food. There's an oven to make things hot, and a fridge to make things cold. Although, I think it has a very poorly fastened compressor or other component inside, because it knocks VERY loudly when shutting on or off. It was this noise that initially convinced me I had very upset neighbours that were less-than-politely reminding me to keep it down. Other than that, it's just a room that the food goes into, and comes out of. It doesn't matter if I'm eating or a bowl of cereal for dinner or a wheel of brie cheese for breakfast. It's just for me. 

When there are no dinner guests, there are no dinner standards. 

I know it's spartan, it's meant to be that way. I'm not going to fill it up with decorations and "artisan" "hand-made" crafts made from old barns because it's a kitchen. It's meant to be easy to move through, easy to work in, and easy to clean. It's not supposed to be your safe sector or spiritually grounded zone or whatever people call the places they light incense, do yoga, and ingest fair-trade oat bars and organic chia seed pudding to feel like they're one with the earth and not just another broken human being. If you think you can do a better job decorating, then keep those thoughts to yourself because you don't live here. It's a kitchen. How hard can a kitchen be?

Unless of course, you're going to decorate the inside of the fridge. In that case, by all means help yourself and fill it up with whatever you wish. Without a roommate or others in the house to keep on top of the food in the fridge, the fresher items will usually go bad right before I remember I have them and want to use them in my cooking. With a short grocery list and a poor memory, you'd be lucky to find anything more than a few half eaten, poorly wrapped, soon-to-expire food items. I can now say with confidence that there are few things in this world more depressing than the interior of a single man's fridge.

It might as well look like this

Bedroom

There's a window

And a closet on the left side

It's a bedroom. It has a bed, and a dresser, and a closet. I still need to get a desk. If you think I need to snaz it up in some way, please remember that this is in fact, just a bedroom. I'm not there for the atmosphere, nor the scenery, nor the food and beverage. Hell, I rarely go into the room when it isn't dark. (Watch me proudly state this like a smart ass and then go and get a bunch of tacky old car advertisement poster and slap them up on the walls...)

Living Room

This was the one room I kinda sorta wanted to make an effort to be a nice place. Between too many trips to Ikea and sifting through kijiji, I was able to set myself up with some cozy furniture and other things that go in rooms besides furniture. For the Canadians reading this blog who aren't aware, Kijiji is the holy grail for all things used; Cars, Cats, Cameras, you name it, it's got it! Best of all, you can SIT on your COUCH and do the shopping from there and not have to get up until it's time to go pick up your item!

A friend of mine was a big help with choosing plants
and a lil piece of wood to put them on

Oh my, what handsome car is that on the street?

Unfortunately, not everything works as well as kijiji. Ikea became my four-stop shop for things that cost too much money to put in the house. I realized that while those handsome swedes try their best to make Ikea a nice place, I am not the kind of person who can remain enthusiastic for the entire 3-hour stretch that it takes to journey through the entirety of the country-sized department store. By the time you reach the warehouse/checkout section, you not only have to remember the ridiculous Scandinavian names of the items you need, but you've got to measure each item to see if it'll fit in your car, or else you'll have another pain-in-the-ass chore to complete. Once you've got everything loaded up on the cart to the extent that it becomes be a workplace safety hazard, you've then got to painstakingly maneuver your overloaded and cumbersome cart between packs of unsupervised children, fussy couples, weary parents and other bumbling shoppers who are just as close to the end of their ropes as you are. The temptation to leave your things and get back in your car and go home is incredibly strong, even if it means skipping the hot dogs and cinnamon buns near the exit. If you feel this, leave your cart where it is, go to the AS-IS section near the checkout, and lay on one of the returned furniture pieces until your spirits recover. After a full-night's sleep to recover, and some assistance to assemble my new purchases, I was able to outfit the living room with a liquor cart, TV stand, coffee table, a few other household doodads, and a big comfy couch. I had a few things of my own to bring (mostly bedroom stuff), with the dining set, red chair, kitchen cart & appliances all coming from Kijiji for less than a hundred bucks total. 

All the work was worth it. The couch is large and comfy,
and the bar car is stocked and ready.

Being an idiot, I decided to enable all my bad habits by assembling the largest entertainment unit that could fit into the room. The T.V. was my guilty purchase that I interally justified as a present for myself "because I stopped earning money in China and started spending more money on rent in Canada", AKA a "moving in" self-gift. Yeah. It's pretty big. 

I think it's pretty sweet. 

I combined it with my dad's old stereo system and my 2 year old desktop computer. Using my technological skills, I was even able to connect my television, computer, record player and amplifier to a pair of something-inch large speakers to make a home theatre system that is sure to keep me indoors and entertained, rain or shine. The entire system is controlled from the couch via a wireless mouse and keyboard, which makes for a simple, convenient, and imposing setup.

I still have yet to receive my first electricity bill (more on that in a minute), but until then, I'm going to assume that this is a fantastic setup with absolutely no drawbacks. All this makes for a most excellent setup for all sorts of electronic entertainment. In fact, you could say I enjoy every kind of electronic entertainment the 21st century of PC gaming has to offer: WWII Strategy video games, WWII naval combat video games, WWII aircraft combat video games, medieval adventure video games, medieval strategy video games, medieval infantry combat video games, and of course, WWII infantry combat video games.

So now I have myself set up. I'd like to think that now that I have a home, I feel more happy and complete as a person. In fact, I'm going to go on believing this until an undetermined time in which I'll react with a successful impulsive decision or a clumsy, costly and entirely preventable mistake made by an impulsive decision.

That's where I'll leave it today. Thanks again for stopping by, friends and strangers.

Reverse Culture Shock

Now, I don't know who specifically reads this, nor for what purpose. I'm not exactly sure what stories Ill still be able to offer at this point. What I do know is that, from the various personal and financial data I've been ruthlessly harvesting from all of you, no less than over three quarters of you readers are accessing this blog from a cellular device. Now, where you are and what you should be doing instead of reading this is none of my business (although I enjoy philosophizing), but that seems like quite a lot of mobile device use. Such an offence would surely make my former top-level boss lose countless hours of sleep in failing to micromanage such a minor offence. Anyways, I've changed the layout of the blog. The larger font should make things a little easier to read, and the darker background should make reading this on the toilet/in bed at 2 am/in a work meeting a little easier on the eyes, and be less of a load on your batteries so that you can make it all the way through the workday while balancing instagram, reddit, messaging your circle of friends, and generally avoiding meaningless tasks.

The words are so tiny on these newfangled telephones!

So welcome to A Purposeless Blog.

So now here we are. An old country. A new blog name. A distinct absence of meaning, income and self-discipline. I'm living in Canada now, experiencing my first fall weather in years. My colleagues have new classes and are out and I'm sitting on my hands

I'm not going to make a scene extrapolating how I once lived in Asia and therefore am an incredibly traveled and sophisticated dickhead who can dissect contrasting cultures. 

"Okay Stuart, settle down on all the big words there buster"

Oops. Right. This isn't a work meeting or resume composing session. I've gotten into the bad habit of glorifying the most very basic human functions using an academic vocabulary, including using educational and administrative buzz words with lots of syllables. Instead, I'm going to try to highlight the things I've noticed and found trouble with since moving back home. While I will try to avoid sounding like a hypocritical entitled jerk, I can't make any promises.

Things I like about 加拿大 (Jiānádà)

There are many things I like about Canada, but I'll try to list off the few I liked most once I got my bearings and beat jet lag. 

Food! Not just Asian food, but access to all of the types of food one's heart desires. While the Chinese food I've found so far is not as good, there are so many delicious options to help enhance my strength and resilience against hunger. I'll have to do some hunting to satisfy my unsatiable  need for 辣炸鸡 (Là zhá jī) 

Montreal Bagels

Some fancy Franch Toast

Some fancy Franch Canadian Meat Sammies

Some not-Franch Fried Cheese

I guess this could be Franch-originated. Poutine!
(I now realize how stupidly filling and heavy this is)

DO NUTS! 

Pals! The summer is a great time to do fun things! No, I didn't steal that from the cover of Canadian Living magazine, it's actually my prime time for hangs with friends that are otherwise busy with life (and sometimes out of the country). Either that, or it's the time of year people have less of an excuse to be antisocial shut-ins.

Playing dominoes like old people

Buying butter tarts in a tiny tourist town like old people

Trying on the old, donated clothes of old people

Well look who it is! 

That's Queback

Friends include cats too

Like driving a car! Even though at first, after a year without being behind the wheel, it was a little tricky to keep it within the paint (or as they say, between the mustard and the mayonnaise), I got the hang of things again. It was also a nice chance to remind myself what the proper rules of the road are, and which ones are just flexible recommendations. 

As you can see, I'm driving on the correct side of the road.
A+ 

The old barge after a year sitting under a tree. 

She shines up like new eh?

I even made a little video of waking the old beast up after a year of sleep. Check it out here because I said so
(Seriously you better look at it because I made it myself like a professional. I also do other makes and models of cars, pets, plants and cooking videos)

Or better yet... Shopping for even MORE cars... This is kind of my addiction, so I hope these pictures help awaken your inner gear head. 

A 70's muscle car? Oh yes

An all-original, V8 Oldsmobile Cutlass at a reasonable price? HECK yes!

Pervasive rust,  holes and rot on every surface facing the ground?
UH NOPE

This was one charming, a 1973 Mercedes, sans hood badge. 

And had a pretty nifty interior, definitely smelled like an old car

But, if you look closely at the rear half,
the 'fresh coat' was done with house paint....

This one was a real beast, and without any of that pesky rust

It's a $7,500 car, but the owner wants twice that for it...

Like NATURE. The clean and unbastardized air that smells like mother nature's freshest batch of cookies is one of Canada's greatest gifts. While Macau was so tightly packed, sweaty and schmutzy that you felt like doing nothing that wasn't air-conditioned, Canada sports the wide open spaces and real nature that facilitates hiking, swimming, camping, fishing, BBQ-ing, canoeing, beach-ing, outdoor sports games, picnics, patio meals, patio drinks, patio reading sessions, animal walking/spotting, opening windows to feel like you're outside, or other activities that get me out of the house so I'm not so much of a miserable piece of human garbage. It's pretty nice. 

This is go-ing to Toronto Island cause it's a nice place.
Notice how the sky is clear and blue and not grey and not choking with smog! 

We had a picnic here

This is Hamilton. You can't call it 'the armpit of Ontario' now, can you?

This is sports. I learned how it works and it's not too bad. 

We're in a boat

Opening the windows while doing indoor activities counts as being outside

This is called water-hovering. Katy managed it for about 2 seconds.

This is beach-ing

This is also beach-ing

It's not nature but it was outside so that counts

While these are all very lovely things that I have missed, there are a few pesky things that I most certainly do not like about 加拿大

Not having a job or an income to subsidize my bad habits. That's a lot of uncertainty for someone who has a five-figure student debt balance, a love for good food and drink, and a thirsty Buick Park Avenue (that only takes premium fuel by the way). Applying and applying and applying and paying to get 'tickets' to apply again to public school boards and getting zero feedback is not an encouraging process. I've gained a lot of respect for those who have slogged through the system to get themselves where they are today. I just wish things would be a little more efficient and transparent. I also wish people would tell me "No" if they didn't want me around. Isn't that the the whole idea of consent? Either way, I need to get a hold of myself because money disappears a lot faster when it doesn't come back every month.

Living with my wonderful parents who support, check-in on and feed me very well but who drive me just a little bit very crazy in ways they cannot even begin to understand. I'm a grown adult who wants to fly like a free, carnivorous eagle, but is locked in the cage of his childhood home by sharing bathrooms and risking his leftovers in the wild west of a fridge accessed by 3 other forgetful hungry people. My mom cooks with the skill of Gordon Ramsay and the generosity of an Italian Grandmother. My father offers to help to everything car-related, and then helps without my response, and then secretly does more things to help when I'm not looking. My brother is far neater and more considerate than he used to be. But despite their numerous qualities, they still make me go nuts with every little thing that they do. 


E  v  e  r  y  t  h  i  n  g          i  s          s  o          f  a  r         a  w  a  y         f  r  o m         e  v  e  r  y          o  t  h  e  r          t  h  i  n  g  .

I really like walking places. It's super easy because you only have to move your legs a bunch and then you're where you need to be. Put on an album, smell the fresh air, look in people's homes and appreciate their decor (from the sidewalk, mind you. I don't encourage being a trespassing snoop). As much as driving is nice, it's also bad. Traffic is bad, long red lights are bad, waiting for pedestrians is bad and then when I've finally reached my approximate destination, struggling to find and then pay for a parking spot is bad. Unfortunately, that's a reality for anyone who needs to move from one place to another in Canada or the U.S. because everything worth getting to is so obscenely far away from wherever you are because things are spread out so far that it necessitates having a car. Don't we live in the future? Where are the damn jet packs and hover boards? It's 2018!  Here we are, well into the 21st century, and we're still having to bumble around without getting everywhere we want instantaneously!? Come on science...  

If we let Bill Nye run the country, things would look like this in no time! 

A Lack of Freedom to do impulsive, convenient and otherwise selfish things. 

I'm not going to get a lot of sympathy with this paragraph. I will very likely make myself look worse as a human being and maybe even as a semi-well mannered Canadian. But here goes....

China restricts a lot of the big things that we may take for granted, like freedom of the press, freedom of movement, freedom of speech, freedom of association, freedom of religion, and just a many few others. However, China does NOT care so much about the little things that people do. Worried about burping at a restaurant? No problem! Lining up in an orderly manner? Nah...Environmental standards? HAH! That's a good one. A very, very, good one.

But apparently in Canada we have to recycle. All my time saving habits of throwing glass aluminum plastic paper and other so-called reusable material straight into the trash might as well be committing murder. I've had my mother, father, friends, friends of friends, strangers, and others very quickly notify me as soon as I step outside the boundaries of our "rules". I'm treated as an earth-neglecting right winger blamed entirely for tearing the hole in the ozone layer. If I accidentally forget about the beer in my breast pocket and wander outside, people tell me I could "get in trouble" for such a thing. Preposterous. If I even do so much as make a noise above coughing volume in a public forum, the startled looks, snobby sneers and furious-yet-hushed comments almost instantly descent upon me with the wrath of all the passive-aggressive power of a gaggle of teenage girls.

Paying the government a butt-ton of PESKY TAXES

If we were smart, we could redesign our society so that a simple dice roll
could allow us to pay at, or better yet, skip over these inconvenient spaces.

Don't get me wrong and throw me under the bus; It's important to have good services and stuff (the 'and stuff' can mean whatever you decide it to be). We need at least some public money to keep our communities functioning; paving roads, running schools and other useful tasks. But I feel like I'm paying taxes to buy and earn and live and breathe and eat and drink and drive. What's more, I now I have to buy liquor from a government liquor store at times when the government liquor store chooses to be OPEN!? At up-charged prices of their CHOOSING!? I want what I want when I want it! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!

I don't need your help, government! If you gave me one of those aforementioned hover boards, we wouldn't have to fix the roads! If you didn't liberally give out traffic tickets, I could use that money for gas and new tires to replace the former ones burnt up doing wheel spins!

Yeah I know it's not China. I probably sound like an old man / extreme libertarian / scheming anarchist. There are plenty of reasons that my complaints could be contradicted. I don't care. I'd prefer to spend that money on tacos or pay off more of my student debt, or buy another old car....

In fact, I'm going to go look at one of these next week...

This reverse culture shock is a little strange, so I'm trying to find my way between my bad habits and these new expectations. I hope I can find something to keep me a little more busy, since I'm not working yet. Hopefully I can get a hold of my reckless spending and collect the fragments of manners and civility still left in my brain. Maybe not though...

That's all for now. Thanks for stopping by.