I Did It

This face accurately describes my reaction as soon as I realized
that I actually kind of know what I'm doing for the first time ever

This will likely be my final post of the year. I will be going on a little holiday for the break, one of the upsides to living in the China-not-China neighbourhood is that it's a stone's throw from plenty of warm and nice places to spend a two week break. During that time it'll be unlikely that I'll be around a computer, so here's my chance to say a few things before the new year.

Two years ago I couldn't be trusted to remember to put a belt on or be in charge of my own smartphone. I didn't know how to manage online banking, and I was overwhelmed with the concept of credit cards. Many camp sweaters laid down their original sizes because I didn't know how to wash my clothes properly. Now, as of December 18th, 2015, I have been teaching full-time for six months. TEACHING. MONTHS. SIX OF THEM. We're talking about a professional, responsibilty-endowing, you-need-to-put-on-nice-clothes-that-don't-have-shmutz-on-them job. Learning how to actually do it properly took a lot of work, and getting to the point where teacher's college would even think about taking a bum like me almost took more. So this is my chance to say that I couldn't have done it without you.

"Stuart that sounds like a scripted golden globes award speech"

But really. Like, I mean having friends that always come out to spend time with you even if it's a Sunday afternoon and it's Hamilton, a family that foots the bill to the countless times I've done something one of my students wouldn't have done, and coworkers that step up, check up, and support you every day. I really could not have made it anywhere close to where I am now without people who give a shit. So thank you, like, a lot. My kids are the ones who benefit the most from it, which brings me to them.

The perfect visual representation of fun

My Kids (that's right, they belong to ME)
While I cannot show their faces, I can use my masterful MS Paint skills to shield their identities while still capturing their full emotions at any given moment, and also tell you how awesome they are. I can also tell you that while Macau is Westernized-ish-kinda, there are still a few things here and there that don't line up with our ways back home. They will say silly or funny things that you wouldn't get the honor of hearing back home (at least not in the innocent and honest ways they say things), such as:

How to Science: Soils

Example 1: Upon finding a picture of me on google doing research for their newspaper projects
 - "I found Mr. Stuart with a big furry beard on his face!"
(Followed by finding a picture of Brent close to mine, which I pointed out. Apparently they didn't understand that was NOT me)
 - "Is that a picture of you Mr. Stuart? Was that you when you were younger?
 - "Oh my god such an old picture, he isn't even fat yet!"

Example 2: Upon wearing my tweed jacket from Value Village school for the first time
 - "Oh my god, look it's the President. Like the president or like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Jr. but with the different skin"
 - "No, it's Mr. Brant. Mr. Stuart doesn't have anything that looks that good"
 - "Guys but Mr. Brant went back to Canada remember? He even let Mr. Stuart keep his glasses"
 - "But he's wearing a fancy jacket, he must be a doctor. I think he's Dr. Brant" (more on Dr. Brant later)

How to Fractions

Besides the silly things that they say, most of my kids will:

  - Poke the hair on my arms when I'm not looking and call me 'furry' like any number of animals (I think I liked 'a furry big horse' the most)
 - Poke their heads into the classroom during recess while I'm leaving whatsapp messages to various people (Whos names I now preceed with a Mr. or Miss)
 - Encourage their friends (esp. in other classes) to MANGIA at lunchtime during cafeteria duty (and also teach me Chinese, since that's the only time I let them speak it when they're around me) - Look at me with a straight face and ask me "Are you really am 51 years old?"
 - Find ways to surround me at my desk with a barrage of questions of when they will see Dr. Brant

How to Mangia

I love my kids. Sometimes I talk about them to others on how they're all neat and different but also awesome and I realize that I do love my kids.  I have kids who know all the things before I even begin to teach them. I have kids who have stupidly neat printing, who can pick up inferences and summarize better than me. I have kids who read at a goddamn grade SEVEN reading level. They know how to have fun, and they get a little better at things every day. I would say I wish I could be like them when I grow up, but since I've got 16 years on them already, I my job is to take that awesomeness that they possess and aim it at something fun so they can think for themselves, do cool things, and become the kind of people I'd like to play Dutch Blitz with.  


The Story of Dr. Brant
This came as a collision of two events. Halloween isn't a huge event at our school (nor really in Macau), so my interpretation of dressing up was to wear my other glasses to school (currently my only intact glasses until I get my hands on a new pair), and posing as someone else, in this case, Brent. This eventually turned into the character of 'Dr. Brant' after I wore the aforementioned tweed jacket to school for the first time. If I'm at recess and see one of my kids in the hall, I'll put on a different voice and they'll jump to attention and begin drilling this apparently new and unique human being all sorts of questions about his past life. Secretly I love having the personalities of my friends wriggle their way into my teaching (if not my relationship with my kids), I wrote one of my exams based on the story of two of my actual friends who go shopping together. I use other friends in word problems (specifically in math) that tie into their real life qualities. One day I may even be lucky enough to have a visitor in the classroom one day. But for now, it's time for a well deserved holiday break. I'll be in the Philippines with two teacher friends of mine, plus one not-teacher-but-still friend of mine, for almost the entirety of the two weeks we have off. It'll be warm, tasty, and I'll probably have access to a motorcycle there to go FAST. I'll put all the happenings of the next two weeks up just as soon as I'm back. Until then, sit tight and have yourselves a chuffing excellent Christmas break. 

So that's all from China-not-China for 2015. I suppose all years are good if you've been able to do a little something and make somebody feel good about themselves while having a little fun yourself. What's the point of things anyways?