As you may or may not have read already, I moved into my own place at the end of the summer. I considered it a significant achievement to now have a place of my own, to furnish, decorate and maintain. It turns out it was also a welcome distraction at a time with very little else to do.
While people gripe and groan about work and other responsibilities, it's those very tasks that keep us from doing even more self-destructive or meaningless things. Think about it honestly for a minute. If you were given months of free time (within a budget or means similar to what they are now), would you be able to keep yourself engaged in some sort of purpose to get you out of bed at a regular time instead of horizontally searching for memes to use on your blog? Would you choose challenging, healthier or otherwise better choices than antisocially relaxing, snacking, and entertaining yourself within the confines of your own home? Would you be, in a general sense, a better person when compared to yourself at the beginning of this three-month period of time?
If you answered 'Yes' to these questions, either you are lying, or you are much better able to deal with your free time than me. If it is the latter, then you'll get no sympathy from me, nor will you be able to sympathize with what lies ahead. Go ahead and get back to whatever the hell you were doing that made you such an amazing person with immaculate genes, a perfect social life and such a holy blessing to the universe.
This blog is for imperfect, unhappy humans only, thank you very much.
Very soon after assembling my IKEA furniture, hooking up the entertainment system, and stocking the kitchen with edible goods, I discovered that there isn't much to do with yourself when you're not working regularly. All of a sudden, I'm floating in the middle of a sea of time to occupy with.... Well I don't even know what.
I can't shop for things I need because I have everything I realistically need, and I can't shop for things I want because that costs money I haven't even earned yet.
I can't endlessly play video games during the day, because electricity is far more expensive until after 7 pm. I guess the Ontario government doesn't see the value in heavily subsidizing my excessive, carbon-powered indulgences like Macau does.
I can't harass my friends because they are busy "at work". Apparently they have "jobs" or something, the selfish jerks. That's the same excuse they used during the summer break when I'd call them up in the middle of the day!
So most days ended up with me spending most of my time pensively wondering how to spend my time, with small breaks in between dedicated for laying on the couch to stare at the ceiling. Re-checking my fridge and phone for distractions also helped to break up a long day. I tried to keep myself busy as best I could, and I thought if I could accomplish one important task in a day, then I could sigh a breath of relief and assure myself that I'm not a purposeless wastrel. However, with less and less to do, these "important" tasks have diminished in significance from "research and execute investment options for my dirty Chinese money" and "apply to online group tutoring programs that fit within my schedule" to "vacuum the living room" and "buy toilet paper".
I'm beginning to wonder if this is what retirement would look like. Heck, I already enjoy bingo, napping, jazz, slippers and old-man cars. I wonder if I'm eligible for a pension any time soon. Either way, I have to figure out what to do with myself because I'm accomplishing even less than YOU, person who is reading this instead of attending to the pressing matters that you're paid/expected to be doing.
My job hunt began this past spring with expensive applications to various public school boards in southern Ontario. I say expensive because it costs about $30-40 just to add your name to the list of applicants. Yeah, public boards are not great. They are slow. They don't give you any feedback. It takes months and months to wait for your callback, complete the interview, and then finally start working. Despite shortages in most districts, the school boards aren't too eager to fill their supply roster for a number of reasons.
I'm not going to be a salty Susan and continue to complain, because that's not why you're here. I'm sure my occasional teacher friends reading this are at least mildly amused that I now have to jump through the same hoops they slogged through in the past.
I heard nothing back, and pressed on for something else, the hunt slowly becoming more desperate as my savings were eroding since I put the cart before the horse and moved into an apartment BEFORE finding gainful employment.
I wish every school was run by Hoda, my old boss ...
I applied to some online schools (especially those in China) who were in search of English teachers to e-conference with students. It would have been nice to work from home and use my very limited Chinese vocabulary to the amusement of many, but sadly that wasn't what worked out. I also tried for positions within my local Public Library & Museums organizations, as well as an elementary coding and engineering program run in Toronto, but those avenues were also less than fruitful. And before you start to criticize and think that I'm just a shlarby guy that doesn't have my shit together, I've got all my paperwork in order, complete with detailed adjectives and just the right amount ofbullshit advanced educational jargon to convince any level-headed person hire me!
My big break finally came from an old friend of mine who is now working as a music teacher at a local private school. I'd reached out to him to offer my help with the jazz band organization he runs after school, the same one I had gone through during high school & college that had helped me become a halfway decent player along the way. He instead recommended that I apply to substitute at his private school, since they can't pull from the city's list of public subs and depend on their own group of people to keep the doors open.
Within a few days of contacting them, I got an email back from two different departments in the school asking me to come in for an interview. Suddenly, I had to remember how to act professionally again. I compiled a short list of things:
1) Make sure you're wearing the right clothes. Don't wear the wrong clothes or not the right clothes. Make sure they are clean and not backwards. Make sure they're ironed and coordinated so that they look good.
"Oh shit. All the men have really nicely knotted ties. I look like an IDIOT with my four-in-hand knot. Fuck. They probably think I'm an idiot. A USELESS idiot who can't dress himself. They're NEVER going to call me."
2) Make sure you're not late. Be extra early so that you seem prepared. Wait, what time do I need to be there? When do things start? Shit I think school starts at a time... Uhh in the morning... At maybe 8? When did I start school when I was a kid? Where go at a time I don't even know yet? I should ask the perso- NO! That would make me look like a rookie! I have experience! I am capable! I can come early and figure it out.
3) Don't ask too many questions or you'll seem hopeless or inept. In fact, don't to anybody except the people you're supposed to talk to. Just shut up and watch out. All the time. KEEP PAYING ATTENTION. Don't drift off and pretend to listen while you think about what battleship mission you're going to complete or what you're going to season your chicken with. Also be nice to the receptionists.
Upon my arrival at the school, I discovered that I didn't know where I was supposed to be going, which led to this fantastic, coherent bit of dialogue.
"Uhm uh hi I'm looking for, oh I'm Stu- -er uh sorry, I'm Mr. Feenstra. Yeah hello hi...... Oh right um yeah I'm looking for the middle school. Yeah, I'm here to volunteer but I'm supposed to be in middle school, but I don't know when they start, or if they need me to be somewhere right now, so I thought that I would check with you, so I can get there on time, um. Where should I be going?"
"Just down the hall, second door on the left hun,"
The following week I was volunteering in multiple departments, with several dates of supply work being offered to me by the end of the day. Despite the number of terribly-placed sweaty handshakes, the constant forgetting of important people's names and at one point being lost in the building, it was a very productive visit.
Once work started on a more regular basis, I've notice that the students have been a lot better than I expected in a job that often invites chaos and defiance. I'll often offer a bit of free time at the end of class (for older students) or in the middle of the period (for younger students) if they can stay on the ball and not get me fired. Sometimes we'll talk about how video games are addicting, why social media is dumb, or interesting (and sometimes embarrassing) stories from China.
Still, there are still those few students like to test, push and often cross the boundaries of what's normally acceptable and what they just feel like doing in the moment. While most students and classes are manageable, all it takes is a change in the schedule, a lack of extra work, or for it to be a Friday for goofs to goof, chatterboxes to chat, and troublemakers to force me to decide between appearing as either incompetent or tyrannical. Setting a clear tone of rules and expectations is key.
I also found myself in an interesting position recently when I was working with a middle school class that was situated right below the principal's office. Apparently, the noise from the classrooms travels vertically through the ventilation system, and that keeping things under control while keeping my own voice down is an eternal struggle.
Here's a nice other list I put together summing things up using my impeccable MS paint skills.
All in all, this has been a very welcome break from a very long summer of doing very little (productive things) and spending a lot. Another bonus of employment is that I now have just a little bit of income. That little bit of positive in the large ledger of mostly negative transactions on my bank statement sheds enough sunlight on my self-worth (and actual financial worth) to keep me out of the red.
Maybe I'll use my "Do Not Touch This" account to make an impulsive purchase now that I know I can almost sustain myself financially.
While people gripe and groan about work and other responsibilities, it's those very tasks that keep us from doing even more self-destructive or meaningless things. Think about it honestly for a minute. If you were given months of free time (within a budget or means similar to what they are now), would you be able to keep yourself engaged in some sort of purpose to get you out of bed at a regular time instead of horizontally searching for memes to use on your blog? Would you choose challenging, healthier or otherwise better choices than antisocially relaxing, snacking, and entertaining yourself within the confines of your own home? Would you be, in a general sense, a better person when compared to yourself at the beginning of this three-month period of time?
 |
| Trying to enter the job market after an extended summer |
If you answered 'Yes' to these questions, either you are lying, or you are much better able to deal with your free time than me. If it is the latter, then you'll get no sympathy from me, nor will you be able to sympathize with what lies ahead. Go ahead and get back to whatever the hell you were doing that made you such an amazing person with immaculate genes, a perfect social life and such a holy blessing to the universe.
 |
| "I think I can manage on my own just fine" |
Very soon after assembling my IKEA furniture, hooking up the entertainment system, and stocking the kitchen with edible goods, I discovered that there isn't much to do with yourself when you're not working regularly. All of a sudden, I'm floating in the middle of a sea of time to occupy with.... Well I don't even know what.
I can't shop for things I need because I have everything I realistically need, and I can't shop for things I want because that costs money I haven't even earned yet.
I can't endlessly play video games during the day, because electricity is far more expensive until after 7 pm. I guess the Ontario government doesn't see the value in heavily subsidizing my excessive, carbon-powered indulgences like Macau does.
I can't harass my friends because they are busy "at work". Apparently they have "jobs" or something, the selfish jerks. That's the same excuse they used during the summer break when I'd call them up in the middle of the day!
So most days ended up with me spending most of my time pensively wondering how to spend my time, with small breaks in between dedicated for laying on the couch to stare at the ceiling. Re-checking my fridge and phone for distractions also helped to break up a long day. I tried to keep myself busy as best I could, and I thought if I could accomplish one important task in a day, then I could sigh a breath of relief and assure myself that I'm not a purposeless wastrel. However, with less and less to do, these "important" tasks have diminished in significance from "research and execute investment options for my dirty Chinese money" and "apply to online group tutoring programs that fit within my schedule" to "vacuum the living room" and "buy toilet paper".
 |
| I have to do something else |
I'm beginning to wonder if this is what retirement would look like. Heck, I already enjoy bingo, napping, jazz, slippers and old-man cars. I wonder if I'm eligible for a pension any time soon. Either way, I have to figure out what to do with myself because I'm accomplishing even less than YOU, person who is reading this instead of attending to the pressing matters that you're paid/expected to be doing.
My job hunt began this past spring with expensive applications to various public school boards in southern Ontario. I say expensive because it costs about $30-40 just to add your name to the list of applicants. Yeah, public boards are not great. They are slow. They don't give you any feedback. It takes months and months to wait for your callback, complete the interview, and then finally start working. Despite shortages in most districts, the school boards aren't too eager to fill their supply roster for a number of reasons.
 |
| Job hunting sucks |
 |
| At least mildly amused |
I heard nothing back, and pressed on for something else, the hunt slowly becoming more desperate as my savings were eroding since I put the cart before the horse and moved into an apartment BEFORE finding gainful employment.
I wish every school was run by Hoda, my old boss ...
I applied to some online schools (especially those in China) who were in search of English teachers to e-conference with students. It would have been nice to work from home and use my very limited Chinese vocabulary to the amusement of many, but sadly that wasn't what worked out. I also tried for positions within my local Public Library & Museums organizations, as well as an elementary coding and engineering program run in Toronto, but those avenues were also less than fruitful. And before you start to criticize and think that I'm just a shlarby guy that doesn't have my shit together, I've got all my paperwork in order, complete with detailed adjectives and just the right amount of
My big break finally came from an old friend of mine who is now working as a music teacher at a local private school. I'd reached out to him to offer my help with the jazz band organization he runs after school, the same one I had gone through during high school & college that had helped me become a halfway decent player along the way. He instead recommended that I apply to substitute at his private school, since they can't pull from the city's list of public subs and depend on their own group of people to keep the doors open.
Within a few days of contacting them, I got an email back from two different departments in the school asking me to come in for an interview. Suddenly, I had to remember how to act professionally again. I compiled a short list of things:
1) Make sure you're wearing the right clothes. Don't wear the wrong clothes or not the right clothes. Make sure they are clean and not backwards. Make sure they're ironed and coordinated so that they look good.
"Oh shit. All the men have really nicely knotted ties. I look like an IDIOT with my four-in-hand knot. Fuck. They probably think I'm an idiot. A USELESS idiot who can't dress himself. They're NEVER going to call me."
2) Make sure you're not late. Be extra early so that you seem prepared. Wait, what time do I need to be there? When do things start? Shit I think school starts at a time... Uhh in the morning... At maybe 8? When did I start school when I was a kid? Where go at a time I don't even know yet? I should ask the perso- NO! That would make me look like a rookie! I have experience! I am capable! I can come early and figure it out.
3) Don't ask too many questions or you'll seem hopeless or inept. In fact, don't to anybody except the people you're supposed to talk to. Just shut up and watch out. All the time. KEEP PAYING ATTENTION. Don't drift off and pretend to listen while you think about what battleship mission you're going to complete or what you're going to season your chicken with. Also be nice to the receptionists.
Upon my arrival at the school, I discovered that I didn't know where I was supposed to be going, which led to this fantastic, coherent bit of dialogue.
"Uhm uh hi I'm looking for, oh I'm Stu- -er uh sorry, I'm Mr. Feenstra. Yeah hello hi...... Oh right um yeah I'm looking for the middle school. Yeah, I'm here to volunteer but I'm supposed to be in middle school, but I don't know when they start, or if they need me to be somewhere right now, so I thought that I would check with you, so I can get there on time, um. Where should I be going?"
"Just down the hall, second door on the left hun,"
The following week I was volunteering in multiple departments, with several dates of supply work being offered to me by the end of the day. Despite the number of terribly-placed sweaty handshakes, the constant forgetting of important people's names and at one point being lost in the building, it was a very productive visit.
Once work started on a more regular basis, I've notice that the students have been a lot better than I expected in a job that often invites chaos and defiance. I'll often offer a bit of free time at the end of class (for older students) or in the middle of the period (for younger students) if they can stay on the ball and not get me fired. Sometimes we'll talk about how video games are addicting, why social media is dumb, or interesting (and sometimes embarrassing) stories from China.
Still, there are still those few students like to test, push and often cross the boundaries of what's normally acceptable and what they just feel like doing in the moment. While most students and classes are manageable, all it takes is a change in the schedule, a lack of extra work, or for it to be a Friday for goofs to goof, chatterboxes to chat, and troublemakers to force me to decide between appearing as either incompetent or tyrannical. Setting a clear tone of rules and expectations is key.
I also found myself in an interesting position recently when I was working with a middle school class that was situated right below the principal's office. Apparently, the noise from the classrooms travels vertically through the ventilation system, and that keeping things under control while keeping my own voice down is an eternal struggle.
 |
| Stop. No, STOP. CUT IT OUT. ENOUGH! |
Here's a nice other list I put together summing things up using my impeccable MS paint skills.
All in all, this has been a very welcome break from a very long summer of doing very little (productive things) and spending a lot. Another bonus of employment is that I now have just a little bit of income. That little bit of positive in the large ledger of mostly negative transactions on my bank statement sheds enough sunlight on my self-worth (and actual financial worth) to keep me out of the red.
 |
This potential crisis has been averted
|
